Why the fuck are you one of us tonight?

You wanted to. You wanted to change to leave to be more than you were and see the stars above your head, the grass beneath your what? Your feet, and see how different you can be when you’re not you but when you’re me. And you told me you had promised the promise that defeats the purpose of living, of being without what you were without and I can’t tell you how many times since then I’ve tried to barter and get back what you lost while you were being so egotistical that you wanted nothing to do with what and who and where your tall grass bloomed. Why now the deceit and the need to explore, this is why you’re not you and I’m not me and this is why we are not meant to be two bodies in this sea we call life. This is why you must leave and drive yourself to insanity and drive drive drive off the edge into a bleeding world of missed connections and starving humans and walking fish and why are you here and not there and why did you choose to die and not live and why are you here and not where you were meant to be?