My Ana

It’s growling,
protesting behind quavering skin
dull yellow, black and blue
from misuse
constant abuse
needing it craving
sunken in ribs showcasing what you
don’t have because
I don't want you to
as snakes run down your back
like drops of sweat under
eternal arrays of blankets
too heavy but too thin
as they still let in
the cold of the summer
air conditioning
but did you fall yesterday?
I caught you and
lessened the chances of you
fucking up what I've worked for
lining your room with lie detectors,
that can tell me that you’ve cheated
reflecting
causing the death of parts of your human
and every day I say I love you
is another day you fight to survive.

Secrets

devoured me
touching with sterile fingers
on tainted skin
and white coats filled with children's memories
that don’t loosen
don’t loosen

let the soothing whispers hold my hair back
let the soothing whispers soothing

whispers
drag their nails across my eyes.

the white throne is in front of me and

they spill out and

I
can’t
breathe and

it spills onto the linoleum beneath me
crimson
finally leaving me
be

Chained.

you’re beyond the stretch of your failing fingertips even though the soul’s want gazes up through the links that enslave you that rip you that bind your stories to your mind that bind them so tight they can’t escape through your lips and no one knows you have nothing anymore but your nightly company turning daily and didn’t your dad say he didn’t want you in bad company but this isn’t what he meant so leave it be and let you do because here you are nursing bit by bit the rusted skeletons that are the only things that can flee through the bars that keep your heart from caving in onto itself and bleeding from the depths of the arms that you believe will loosen their hold only if you explore their contents over
and over
and over
and over
and oh

The most beautiful sunset I have ever seen

I saw a sunflower bend over to catch a falling tangerine that someone had thrown up to the sky
and she took the opportunity to kiss him full force with nothing to hide so that the entire world had to see the shining light the kiss produced. And suddenly without a sign the sky poured out her heart, the love she had felt too much to keep inside while blood dripped down among the bruised clouds that hung low to cover her secrets. And she was ripped apart and devoured from the inside out, her soul spilling into the ocean below.

The stars are in disarray tonight

because when you looked at them you

exhaled,

sighing at their beauty,

and they lost their once secure place,

blown away by the sweetness of your breath.

It was then that I saw the glimmer

of one ignored by his brothers and sisters

as he fell

struggling to catch hold of the velcro plastered on the walls behind him and

as he fell

behind towering mountains, cowering in fear as the hard ground drew nearer,

he saw the frozen bodies of long forgotten flickers.

In your simplicity

when your eyelashes fluttered,
beating a wind that caused a storm in the middle east...

well, it was really only a blink,
miniscule.

and when your cheeks flushed with the red intensity
of blood as it rushed to meet your feelings of embarrassment...

well, it was really only a blush,
uncontrollable.

and when your voice emitted ideas that flew into the sunrise
like birds taking flight into the light that darkness has fled from...

well, it was really just a thought,
understandable.

The frilliness of words with which we express ourselves
takes away from our awesome simplicity
from the intrinsic beauty that we have and share in.
The frilliness of my words aren't fair to you,
adding embellishment and trills in the air,
decorating you when you need
no decoration.
affirming you when you need
no affirmation.
Beautifying you when you can't be
more beautiful than you already are.

so here he is
a man that blinks, blushes and thinks
and in his simplicity
he is who he is
and he is loved.



- For my best friend on his 21st birthday

a sudden unknown
has reached the sweet void of
my lover's heart
beating black nails bleeding
white on a wooden board
having nothing or everything
to do with the silence he keeps since
his eyes became unglued struggling to keep a
tallied inventory on what everyday
things captured his soul
and when he looks at me
and the mountains of sparks emerging from the tips
of our toes
he laughs